Today I wanted to talk to you about grieving and share some tips to help make this process easier. This is very personal to me as very recently we lost our dear uncle to Corona Virus. The death was very sudden and it’s been hard to process this but I wanted to share with you some of the things that have been helping me.
Just remember that any feelings that you may experience as you are grieving it's normal, including feeling like you’re going crazy, or like you're having a nightmare, or even questioning your faith. There’s no right or wrong during this time.
Number 1: There no time limit of how long you need to grieve as long as it's not having a major impact on your health or your life…2 days, 2 months, 2 years…it’s all up to you. It’s ok to take as long as you need to. I’ve gone through family loss before and I know it’s been different each time for me. However, please do notice if you're having a difficult time there's always a team of professionals that you can speak to.
Number 2: Talk to your family and friends. This is probably the last thing you might want to do as sitting in your room crying seems a better option but it really helps. As I spoke to my best friend last night…I started by apologizing that I wasn’t ready to talk when she called me as she has a lot on her plate…but she quickly reminded me of all the times I listened to her crying while I also had a lot on. She reminded me that your friends and your family don’t judge you if you want to shed a tear or two. I guess I’m human and I don’t always get it right. But that’s why we have friends…to be supportive.
Number 3: Maintain continuity of life but be careful not to use that as an excuse to hide from grief. Try to keep busy with your kids, your work or even cleaning your house….keeping busy helps you take your mind off the heavy heart, gives you a break from crying and able to get some perspective. However, it is important to take the time that you need to grieve.
Number 4: Focus on the things that you can control. You can’t shield away from pain. Pain is there to help you grow…and unfortunately you’ve got to remember that death is part of life. Death is also just one day…but the person’s memories last a lifetime. Try to remember the amazing times spent with your loved ones. That's certainly helping me with the pain.
Number 5: Take care of yourself as you grieve. When you’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of the loss of your loved one can quickly take its toll on your health. Looking after your physical needs like sleeping, eating/drinking, going for a walk, and emotional needs like joining a support group, using faith or even writing your thoughts in a journal will help you get through this difficult time.
"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are but tiny matters compared to what lies within us" Ralph Waldo Emerson.